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Who's the biggest? Is it me?




If you find yourself wondering whether or not you’re the heaviest in your family, friends, co-workers, or group, listen up.


Despite having my own measures about my fluctuating heft, it’s the subtleties from others that remind me of my girth.

But first, here are four measures in my self-assessment:

  • If everyone looks like they’ve lost weight.

  • If I’m sweating and no one else is.

  • If animals all seem smaller.

  • If my love-handle always feels cold.

The goal is to be comfortable with yourself, whatever that may be. No one should make that distinction for you. Well, maybe a doctor. I’m aware I need to lose a few, so the self-ridicule continues.


This leads me to the unwavering test that doesn’t fail. Tried and true, it provides the highly reliable social experiment that softly reminds you of your size.


The Front Seat Quandary: A state of discomfort following an offer to sit in the front seat. Most often associated with someone who is struggling with their weight in social situations.

At various times, I’ve enjoyed cramming into a car with friends as we drive to forgetful places with meaningful experiences. (i.e. Taco Bell). For a while, I too was crammed into the backseat. It wasn’t until my shoulders broadened and I engaged in a steady relationship that my abdomen also “broadened” which derailed me from the backseat hijinks.

Hearing things like:


“Why don’t you take the front.”

“Here, you can sit up front.”

“I’ll take the back, you play navigator.”

“Its probably better if I take the back.”

Yeah… woof.


Knowing you are the “big guy” and being comfortable with it, is wonderful. The Front Seat Quandary is most often associated with someone who isn’t aware they are the “big guy” until seating arrangements begin.


It’s like playing chicken fights in a pool (do people still do that?) and no one volunteers to be your bottom.


Or when you’re asked to be the anchor in tug of war… (again, do people still do that?)

To recap, being hefty isn’t bad. Not wanting to be hefty is ok. Not knowing if your heft is an issue will be rectified when you pile into a car with others.


Best of luck. God speed.


The nail in the coffin is when you adjust your bitmoji's body type.

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